Post by The VNB on Feb 15, 2007 15:09:53 GMT -5
The XVItron comes to life as we see Mike Jones entering a Gold's Gym located somewhere in Hollywood. Once inside Mike heads towards the front receptionist desk. A blond woman with huge... Uh... Assets looks up at him and...
Blond ~ Good morning sir... How can I help you?
Mike Jones ~ Yeah, Hi... I believe that I talked to you on the phone earlier. I'm the XVI interviewer who asked about if it was true that Michael Gordy was here at this gym.
Blond ~ Oh yes... I remember you. You sounded cute on the phone.
Mike Jones ~ Oh, really... Thank you.
Blond ~ Yeah, Its a shame that the visual doesn't match the audio if you catch my drift...
Mike Jones ~ What?!! What do you mean.
Blond ~Don't take any offense sir. Its just that you have a few extra pounds there in your spare tire that ruins the overall package. I'm sure that if you sign up for our Newcomer's Super Saver's Membership here at Gold's Gym that extra body weight you are carrying will disappear in no time.
Mike Jones ~ No... No thanks.. I'm just here to get an interview with Fade Gordy. Is he still here?
Blond ~ Yup.. He's inside with some Asian woman and another man who looks similar to him.
Mike Jones ~ Thanks. I'm sure I'll find them.
Blond ~ You can't go in there though.
Mike Jones ~ Why not?!!
Blond ~ Because you are not a member here at Gold's Gym. Only members can enter.
Mike Jones ~ But... I need to talk to Fade! I'm not even going to use any of the equipment...
Blond ~ Obviously, As by the looks of you I doubt you have done a situp in your life much less use any kind of exercise machine. But regardless sir, No one is allowed into Gold's Gym without a membership. Sorry, But its company policy.
Jones just glares at the blond before sighing and pulling out his wallet. He pulls out a credit card and hands it to the woman. After dealing with the whole hassle of signing up Jones then heads into the gym. The blond gives Jones a fake smile.
Blond ~ Thank you sir. Have a great time in there.
Jones grumbles before then heading into the gym. He looks around for a moment before finding Fade across the gym as he is standing next to his stunt double, Rico, Who is on the floor doing pushups. Fade though has a double vanilla mocha in his hand and eating an apple danish. Mike heads over towards Fade and...
Fade ~ Come on! Work! Work! Keep pushing!
Rico ~ *Mumbling* I hate you.
Mike Jones ~ Uh... Fade? What is going on here?!!
Fade ~ Mikey? Mikey what the hell are you doing here?!! I thought you were supposed to be getting ready for Revolution, Wrestlemania, Hell In The Cell... Um, Whatever that show is called.
Mike Jones ~ Uh, Actually, its Valentines Massacre...
Fade ~ Whatever...
Mike Jones ~ Anyway, I'm here looking for you Fade. XVI has been trying to get in touch with you all day. As we needed to get some more thoughts on your match with Halo. So, I will get straight to the point before you lose your train of thought. Now, With this special stipulation you have and Halo agreed upon in this match, Just what will you do if you lose?
Fade ~ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Stop right there, Mikey! What the hell are you talking about if I lose? Let me explain this real slow for you so you can understand. I am going to beat Jihadette so damn bad, It will be like I am not even in the match! Actually... To be honest, I have decide... I am not even going to be in the match!
Mike Jones ~ Uh... What?
Fade ~ Yep, You heard me right Fairy Boy! I have decided, I am just going to skip this match, And let Rico here wrestle it for me!
Mike Jones just shakes his head in total amazement.
Mike Jones ~ Fade... I just don't think that The XVI will go for that...
Fade ~ Of course they will! I am the biggest name in The XVI, They will do whatever the hell I tell them to do!
Mike Jones ~ But Fade, Isn't this guy the Rico that use to be in The WWE, And won American Gladiators? I mean, No offence intended... But this guys sucks. Halo will rip him apart.
Fade ~ What? You have seen him? I mean have you seen him in the ring the past couple of weeks? Hell yea... He sucks!!
Rico ~ Uh... Fade... I told you a hundred times now. I'm not a wrestler anymore at all. I cant fight or anything like that. Just because I'm your stunt double in your movies doesn't mean that I have to step into the ring for you too.
Fade ~ Sure it does. It says so in your contract that you signed with the Stunt Double Union and everything. When working for me you have do everything I tell you to do no matter what. It's your job to make me look good.
Rico ~ I doubt my contract really says that... I think that...
Fade ~ No one really cares what you think. Trust me. You're paid to make me look good. That's why I'm a Hollywood Superstar and you're nothing more than a lowly stunt double. And That's why we are here right now. You need to do a better job of representing me in that wrestling ring. We need to get you into tip top shape!
Mike Jones ~ Ok, ok! So, If this guy sucks as bad as we both know that he does. Just how in the world do you think he stands a chance against someone the caliber of The Dark Halo!!? What do you plan on doing, Not that it matters because The XVI will never allow this... But do you plan on training him yourself?
Fade ~ Gee, You're one smart cookie aren't you?
Mike Jones ~ And just for arguments sake. Lets say he loses, Then what? I mean why in God's name would you even consider this?
Fade ~ Pfft... Look at me, Mikey. I'm a bonafide Hollywood Superstar. I'm role model for hundreds of kids who have ever seen one of my movies, Television shows, Photo shoots, Or even heard my voice as Sgt. McGrady on the "War of the Unicorn" Super Nintendo game that was made recently! You don't put a man like me in the ring with some jobber like... Like... Whatever her name is.
Mike Jones ~ Halo...
Fade ~ Whatever. I'm nothing but pure ratings Mikey! And I belong in nothing short of The Pay Per View Main Event! Any other type of match is simply below me. That's why I have Rico here. He can do the mundane job of stepping into the ring for me and facing any no-name fairy in a nothing match. I have better things to do than lower myself to the standards of a common wrestler.
Mike Jones ~ Well, If Rico is taking your place this week. You still did not answer my question. Has the thought ever entered your mind that he may lose?
Fade ~ Of course not, Mikey, As I'm his trainer. I'll teach him all the in's, and out's, Of how to be one of the greatest wrestler's of all time. With a teacher like me how can he go wrong? And besides he facing... Um... Who is he facing?
Mike Jones ~ Halo...
Fade ~ Yea, Jihadette! Anyway, She ain't that damn great. I mean sure, She has nice boobs, Beautiful eyes, Sexy legs, And one killer ass! But ya see, That's about it, Nothing more. I can pick some moron off the street, Which I have with Rico here, And train him to defeat Halo. I mean, I may not look it Mikey but I am a friggen genius! And PUH-LEEZE, I know ALL there is to know about wrestling. So, When I get finished with Rico here, He will be shouting "I float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee, That freakazoid Halo ain't got shit on me"!
Mike Jones ~ My God... You are an imbecile. This will never work. And if it does work, Halo will kill him.
Fade ~ Whatever... And what did you call me?
Suddenly Daisy Marie walks by wearing nothing but a towel.
Daisy Marie ~ Ready to hop into the jacuzzi, Snooky?
Fade ~ You bet...
Rico ~ What am I supposed to do?
Fade ~ Huh? Oh, I don't know... Why don't you go down the block and get me a Apple Cinnamon Muffin and a Pepsi. Make sure that they put extra sprinkles on my muffin too. And when you get back, I want to see you in the pool doing laps. I think like 87 laps is a nice round number to start with!
Rico ~ *Sigh*
Mike Jones ~ Fade wait! I am being told Halo just put out an interview directly intended for you. I can show you it now if you want?
Fade quickly throws his hand in the air, And keep walking with the lovely Daisy right by his side...
Fade ~ Nope, Not interested. I have heard it all before! Blah Jihad Blah, Yap Fade you suck Yap, Yada The Jerkey Turkey is so great Yada. But if you want, How about you make Rico watch it, Maybe it will give him some motivation!
Rico ~ I hate you so damn much...
Mike Jones ~ Alright folks, That's it from here... XVI, Back to you!
The XVItron then fades to black.
End Scene.
[glow=green,2,300]"Yes, yes! Even you can take part in the sensational personal workout by Fade Gordy! Be sure to send $50 to Fade Gordy Enterprises and he'll come right to your door to shout out motivational phrases that will help you sweat away the flab!!" [/glow]
Blond ~ Good morning sir... How can I help you?
Mike Jones ~ Yeah, Hi... I believe that I talked to you on the phone earlier. I'm the XVI interviewer who asked about if it was true that Michael Gordy was here at this gym.
Blond ~ Oh yes... I remember you. You sounded cute on the phone.
Mike Jones ~ Oh, really... Thank you.
Blond ~ Yeah, Its a shame that the visual doesn't match the audio if you catch my drift...
Mike Jones ~ What?!! What do you mean.
Blond ~Don't take any offense sir. Its just that you have a few extra pounds there in your spare tire that ruins the overall package. I'm sure that if you sign up for our Newcomer's Super Saver's Membership here at Gold's Gym that extra body weight you are carrying will disappear in no time.
Mike Jones ~ No... No thanks.. I'm just here to get an interview with Fade Gordy. Is he still here?
Blond ~ Yup.. He's inside with some Asian woman and another man who looks similar to him.
Mike Jones ~ Thanks. I'm sure I'll find them.
Blond ~ You can't go in there though.
Mike Jones ~ Why not?!!
Blond ~ Because you are not a member here at Gold's Gym. Only members can enter.
Mike Jones ~ But... I need to talk to Fade! I'm not even going to use any of the equipment...
Blond ~ Obviously, As by the looks of you I doubt you have done a situp in your life much less use any kind of exercise machine. But regardless sir, No one is allowed into Gold's Gym without a membership. Sorry, But its company policy.
Jones just glares at the blond before sighing and pulling out his wallet. He pulls out a credit card and hands it to the woman. After dealing with the whole hassle of signing up Jones then heads into the gym. The blond gives Jones a fake smile.
Blond ~ Thank you sir. Have a great time in there.
Jones grumbles before then heading into the gym. He looks around for a moment before finding Fade across the gym as he is standing next to his stunt double, Rico, Who is on the floor doing pushups. Fade though has a double vanilla mocha in his hand and eating an apple danish. Mike heads over towards Fade and...
Fade ~ Come on! Work! Work! Keep pushing!
Rico ~ *Mumbling* I hate you.
Mike Jones ~ Uh... Fade? What is going on here?!!
Fade ~ Mikey? Mikey what the hell are you doing here?!! I thought you were supposed to be getting ready for Revolution, Wrestlemania, Hell In The Cell... Um, Whatever that show is called.
Mike Jones ~ Uh, Actually, its Valentines Massacre...
Fade ~ Whatever...
Mike Jones ~ Anyway, I'm here looking for you Fade. XVI has been trying to get in touch with you all day. As we needed to get some more thoughts on your match with Halo. So, I will get straight to the point before you lose your train of thought. Now, With this special stipulation you have and Halo agreed upon in this match, Just what will you do if you lose?
Fade ~ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Stop right there, Mikey! What the hell are you talking about if I lose? Let me explain this real slow for you so you can understand. I am going to beat Jihadette so damn bad, It will be like I am not even in the match! Actually... To be honest, I have decide... I am not even going to be in the match!
Mike Jones ~ Uh... What?
Fade ~ Yep, You heard me right Fairy Boy! I have decided, I am just going to skip this match, And let Rico here wrestle it for me!
Mike Jones just shakes his head in total amazement.
Mike Jones ~ Fade... I just don't think that The XVI will go for that...
Fade ~ Of course they will! I am the biggest name in The XVI, They will do whatever the hell I tell them to do!
Mike Jones ~ But Fade, Isn't this guy the Rico that use to be in The WWE, And won American Gladiators? I mean, No offence intended... But this guys sucks. Halo will rip him apart.
Fade ~ What? You have seen him? I mean have you seen him in the ring the past couple of weeks? Hell yea... He sucks!!
Rico ~ Uh... Fade... I told you a hundred times now. I'm not a wrestler anymore at all. I cant fight or anything like that. Just because I'm your stunt double in your movies doesn't mean that I have to step into the ring for you too.
Fade ~ Sure it does. It says so in your contract that you signed with the Stunt Double Union and everything. When working for me you have do everything I tell you to do no matter what. It's your job to make me look good.
Rico ~ I doubt my contract really says that... I think that...
Fade ~ No one really cares what you think. Trust me. You're paid to make me look good. That's why I'm a Hollywood Superstar and you're nothing more than a lowly stunt double. And That's why we are here right now. You need to do a better job of representing me in that wrestling ring. We need to get you into tip top shape!
Mike Jones ~ Ok, ok! So, If this guy sucks as bad as we both know that he does. Just how in the world do you think he stands a chance against someone the caliber of The Dark Halo!!? What do you plan on doing, Not that it matters because The XVI will never allow this... But do you plan on training him yourself?
Fade ~ Gee, You're one smart cookie aren't you?
Mike Jones ~ And just for arguments sake. Lets say he loses, Then what? I mean why in God's name would you even consider this?
Fade ~ Pfft... Look at me, Mikey. I'm a bonafide Hollywood Superstar. I'm role model for hundreds of kids who have ever seen one of my movies, Television shows, Photo shoots, Or even heard my voice as Sgt. McGrady on the "War of the Unicorn" Super Nintendo game that was made recently! You don't put a man like me in the ring with some jobber like... Like... Whatever her name is.
Mike Jones ~ Halo...
Fade ~ Whatever. I'm nothing but pure ratings Mikey! And I belong in nothing short of The Pay Per View Main Event! Any other type of match is simply below me. That's why I have Rico here. He can do the mundane job of stepping into the ring for me and facing any no-name fairy in a nothing match. I have better things to do than lower myself to the standards of a common wrestler.
Mike Jones ~ Well, If Rico is taking your place this week. You still did not answer my question. Has the thought ever entered your mind that he may lose?
Fade ~ Of course not, Mikey, As I'm his trainer. I'll teach him all the in's, and out's, Of how to be one of the greatest wrestler's of all time. With a teacher like me how can he go wrong? And besides he facing... Um... Who is he facing?
Mike Jones ~ Halo...
Fade ~ Yea, Jihadette! Anyway, She ain't that damn great. I mean sure, She has nice boobs, Beautiful eyes, Sexy legs, And one killer ass! But ya see, That's about it, Nothing more. I can pick some moron off the street, Which I have with Rico here, And train him to defeat Halo. I mean, I may not look it Mikey but I am a friggen genius! And PUH-LEEZE, I know ALL there is to know about wrestling. So, When I get finished with Rico here, He will be shouting "I float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee, That freakazoid Halo ain't got shit on me"!
Mike Jones ~ My God... You are an imbecile. This will never work. And if it does work, Halo will kill him.
Fade ~ Whatever... And what did you call me?
Suddenly Daisy Marie walks by wearing nothing but a towel.
Daisy Marie ~ Ready to hop into the jacuzzi, Snooky?
Fade ~ You bet...
Rico ~ What am I supposed to do?
Fade ~ Huh? Oh, I don't know... Why don't you go down the block and get me a Apple Cinnamon Muffin and a Pepsi. Make sure that they put extra sprinkles on my muffin too. And when you get back, I want to see you in the pool doing laps. I think like 87 laps is a nice round number to start with!
Rico ~ *Sigh*
Mike Jones ~ Fade wait! I am being told Halo just put out an interview directly intended for you. I can show you it now if you want?
Fade quickly throws his hand in the air, And keep walking with the lovely Daisy right by his side...
Fade ~ Nope, Not interested. I have heard it all before! Blah Jihad Blah, Yap Fade you suck Yap, Yada The Jerkey Turkey is so great Yada. But if you want, How about you make Rico watch it, Maybe it will give him some motivation!
Rico ~ I hate you so damn much...
Mike Jones ~ Alright folks, That's it from here... XVI, Back to you!
The XVItron then fades to black.
End Scene.
[glow=green,2,300]"Yes, yes! Even you can take part in the sensational personal workout by Fade Gordy! Be sure to send $50 to Fade Gordy Enterprises and he'll come right to your door to shout out motivational phrases that will help you sweat away the flab!!" [/glow]
