Post by The VNB on Feb 12, 2007 22:18:16 GMT -5
The XVItron comes to life as we see XVI Interviewer Mike Jones walking on the grounds of some random Hollywood California Movie lot. Mike looks around at the scenery. It's completely surreal. He sees actors dressed up as Roman Gladiators, Mobsters, And even a few dressed as Space Warriors. The women are dressed up like Fairies, Police Officers, And a couple are dressed up as Amazon Warriors. Mike stops to look at a few of the random set pieces setting out on the lot at as well. Mike then whistles.
Mike Jones ~ Wow... This is just impressive.
Mike then notices a random assistant director looking over notes for a random movie. Mike slowly heads over before tapping him on the shoulder.
Mike Jones ~ Uh, Excuse me. I'm sorry I don't mean to bother you... But I'm looking for Michael Gordy. He's supposed to be at Studio 14C... Can you tell me where that is...
AD ~ Sure... No problem. Head down that way and it'll be your 2nd red door on the left.
Mike Jones ~ Thank you very much.
Mike quickly sets off on his way. He takes in the scenery still along the way. He passes by an Actor dressed up as Charlie Brown talking to an Actress dressed up as Lucy.
Charlie Brown ~ So let me get this straight. I come running up to try to kick the football, Right?
Lucy ~ That's right, And then I'll pull it away.
Charlie Brown ~ I don't get it though. What would my motivation be to try to kick the ball then? After all doesn't my character already know that Lucy will pull the ball away?
Lucy ~ Chuck, You're such a blockhead!
Mike Jones shakes his head and laughs as he walks by.
Mike Jones ~ Actors, What a silly bunch. Finally Mike reaches the door he was looking for and looks at the "Do Not Enter If Light Is Red" sign. The light is off so he slowly walks through. Inside the door is a Hollywood sound stage. It's not as big as most Hollywood sound stages are, But it's still pretty impressive in its own right. Mike looks around before heading over towards where all the movie camera's are. There we can see "The Demolition Man", Michael "Fade" Gordy", Dressed up as futuristic Police Officer, Holding a huge sword next to him, Talking to the director of the movie. Jones looks at the side of the reel canister on the table next to him it says...
[glow=red,2,300]"Future Strike 7: The Search For King Arthur's Sword!"[/glow]
Jones shakes his head as he pays attention to what is going on. Fade is speaking to the Director.
Fade ~ So how was that Mick? How was that scene?
Mick ~ Beautiful Mike, Just beautiful! Now why don't you just take five and we'll get ready for our next shot. That's where you well head down the hall of snakes, With King Arthur's sword in your hand, Trying to find the evil gerbil king "Patrick" before you run into a pack of killer cyborg polar bears!
Fade ~ Sweet!... That's my favorite scene in the whole movie!
The director then quickly heads off the set to try to find his set designer. Fade heads over towards his actors chair where world renown adult film star actress Daisy Marie is dressed in a skimpy white mini skirt, As well as a white tube top, And is sitting in the chair next to Fade's. Daisy is busy reading the latest edition of "In Style" magazine. Fade then kisses Daisy on the lips before Jones walks over.
Mike Jones ~ Fade! Fade! Can I get a few words from you!
Fade turns and looks at Jones. Fade then rolls his eyes and huffs.
Fade ~ What the hell?!! How did a peon like you get onto the lot?! How did you sneak by security?!!
Mike Jones ~ Security? What security?! The sign said outside free parking. In fact I think this is one of the few Hollywood lots that allow free tours for the visitors at all times!
Daisy Marie ~ Hmmph... It appears that they'll let just anybody in these days then.
Fade ~ No kidding.
Mike Jones ~ Jeez... I'll be out of your hair in a second Fade, Calm down. I'm just here to get a few words from you about your match with Halo this week on The Side Effect Card. Wait.. Pardon Me. I mean The Pay...
Fade ~ Match? What match?!! I'm scheduled for a match? Has it been a month already?!! I thought my match with Jihadette would be at the Pay Per View Valentine Massacre?
Mike Jones ~ Well actually, I made a mistake, It's been a long day. You are scheduled for...
Fade ~ Hell yea its a mistake. A superstar of my caliber should only have to perform at the major Pay Per Views, Not pittly little nothing shows like Side Effect.
Daisy Marie ~ That's right. Snooky is a huge Hollywood star. There is no way he is going to risk an injury to that face at a small show like that for no reason. If he were to get hurt then Hollywood would lose millions, And millions, Of dollars in revenue from the movies he produces and stars in!
Mike Jones ~ Yeah Right, Like I'm sure that "Mighty Mervin: The Hiccup Superhero!" was a real blockbuster hit!
Fade ~ Sure it was. Next chance I get I'll show you what the returns were like from Sweden and Portugal. It broke box office records there!
Mike Jones ~ ... Fine, Whatever. Listen, I don't care what kind of success you think your movie career has been here in the States, Or over seas. All I know is you're booked to face Halo in a match. And I'm here to get an interview for it. So please, Humor me. Lets get this interview out of the way and you can call Makaveli afterwards to sort this whole mess out as to why you arent in The Main Event...
Fade ~ Fine... Fine... Let's get this nothing interview out of then way then.
Mike Jones ~ All right. Then lets begin. As I said you are set to face The Dark Halo this week in a very special match. As you may know...
Jones then glances at Fade who is distracted by a few pretty hot models walking by. Jones then shakes his head and...
Mike Jones ~ ... or probably in your case you may not know. Anyway, You are set to face Halo in a match that if you lose, You become her flunky!
Fade ~ Yep yep! And when I win, She is going to become by wee lil black eyeliner wearing, Marilyn Manson loving, Non having her underarms shaved play toy!
Mike Jones ~ So I take it that you are feeling confident coming into this match?
Fade ~ Well hell yea! Everyone knows that Halo wants to lay down for me. My bet is, We will step into that ring, I will flash her my big smile. Ya know Mike, Women cant resist my smile. Anyway, I will give her a big smile. And she will then just lay down for me in the middle of the ring and let me have my way with her!
Mike Jones ~ Well Fade, I seriously doubt that will happen. And further more... Aren't you the least bit concerned? I mean, This is your first match in quite a long time.
Fade ~ Me? Concerned? PUH-LEEZE! Ya gotta remember Jonesy, This is also Halo's first match in quite a long time as well. So you have to look at it like this, I am in peak physical shape! And Halo, She is a goth freak! I even bet she has some sort of neck injury she isn't telling us about because of all the gobs of black eyeliner she wears. I mean, All that shit has to be wearing her head down!
Mike Jones just rolls his eyes and...
Mike Jones ~ Fade, Cant you be serious... Even for a moment?
Fade ~ No can do, Tried to be serious once before, Didn't work out for me.
Daisy Marie ~ Hey you, Don't you go trying to change Snooky! He is just perfect the way he is!
Fade ~ That's right baby! I mean hells bells Jonesy, What do you want me to say? I am stronger than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. I am faster than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. I am a better wrester than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. And I am going to shove her head so far up her own ass that she is going to have cut eye holes in her nipples just to see! And by the way, Did I mention I was prettier than Halo?
Mike Jones ~ Yes, Yes you did. Like 6 times.
Fade ~ Good to hear, Glad you agree with me.
Mike Jones ~ Ok, Lets just say for arguments sake, That she defeats you. What then? You do realize she will make you life a living hell once you become her lackey Don't you?
Fade ~ Puh-leeze, She don't want me for her lackey. She wants me for her sex slave, That is the only reason she agreed to this match.
Daisy Marie ~ Eww, That is just nasty! That woman is just such a floozy! She needs to be more refined, Like myself.
Fade ~ That's right baby, You tell 'em...
Mike Jones ~ Fade, I am sure she don't want you for her sex slave.
Fade ~ Well of course she does! She is just freaky like that!
Daisy Marie ~ That's right, She is a freak! I just don't want her hands anywhere on your body Snooky!
Fade ~ Oh don't worry about that baby. When it comes to The Fade Express, No glove... No love!
Mike Jones, Who looks like any minute now he may become physically sick, Continues...
Mike Jones ~ Ok, Lets hurry and wrap this up. So, If you go into this match, And you defeat Halo, Just what do you have in store for her afterwards?
Fade puts his finger to his chin and...
Fade ~ Hmm, That's a damn good question. First off, I will probably make her take a bath. I mean... PEE-EWW! From there, Probably a good shave. I don't know to be honest, I haven't gave it much thought since I was SURE Makasmelly would make this match the Main Even at the Pay Per View. So, Who knows as of right now. I guess all you fairies will just have to tune in and see for yourself.
Mike Jones ~ So, That is it. Nothing else to add. Nothing, That makes even that least bit of sense?
Fade ~ Mike... Listen closely... K? I am going to kick her teeth, Down her throat. Her, Accepting this match. Will prove to be the most costly mistake in her wrestling career. When I am finished her, She will be crying to herself, "Why oh why didn't I accept Jihad's proposal". And to be honest, I actually feel bad for the ass beating I am about to give her. I actually like oh Jihadette in a weird sort of funked up way. However, She is the one that wanted to rumble with The VNB, And a rumble with The VNB is exactly what she is going to get. As for what I am going to do with her after I beat her, Not IF I beat her, But after I beat her. It wont be nearly as bad as all you fairies think. However, It will totally serve my purpose. Now... How is that?
Mike Jones ~ Excellent! Just excellent! That was exactly what I was looking for!
Fade ~ Blow it out your ass you fairy.
Daisy Marie ~ Yea, Like Snooky said, Blow it out your ass you fairy!
Fade ~ Oh yea, Something else for you. Halo may be the pride of all these goth freaks. But I am the "Pride Of Hollywood"! And after I beat her ass, I may just make a movie about it!
Mike Jones ~ Oh brother... Folks, We are out of time here. Let's send it back to The XVI Studios...
Fade ~ Miss me love me! And be sure to check out my new movie!
With that The XVItron slowly fades to black.
End Scene.
Mike Jones ~ Wow... This is just impressive.
Mike then notices a random assistant director looking over notes for a random movie. Mike slowly heads over before tapping him on the shoulder.
Mike Jones ~ Uh, Excuse me. I'm sorry I don't mean to bother you... But I'm looking for Michael Gordy. He's supposed to be at Studio 14C... Can you tell me where that is...
AD ~ Sure... No problem. Head down that way and it'll be your 2nd red door on the left.
Mike Jones ~ Thank you very much.
Mike quickly sets off on his way. He takes in the scenery still along the way. He passes by an Actor dressed up as Charlie Brown talking to an Actress dressed up as Lucy.
Charlie Brown ~ So let me get this straight. I come running up to try to kick the football, Right?
Lucy ~ That's right, And then I'll pull it away.
Charlie Brown ~ I don't get it though. What would my motivation be to try to kick the ball then? After all doesn't my character already know that Lucy will pull the ball away?
Lucy ~ Chuck, You're such a blockhead!
Mike Jones shakes his head and laughs as he walks by.
Mike Jones ~ Actors, What a silly bunch. Finally Mike reaches the door he was looking for and looks at the "Do Not Enter If Light Is Red" sign. The light is off so he slowly walks through. Inside the door is a Hollywood sound stage. It's not as big as most Hollywood sound stages are, But it's still pretty impressive in its own right. Mike looks around before heading over towards where all the movie camera's are. There we can see "The Demolition Man", Michael "Fade" Gordy", Dressed up as futuristic Police Officer, Holding a huge sword next to him, Talking to the director of the movie. Jones looks at the side of the reel canister on the table next to him it says...
[glow=red,2,300]"Future Strike 7: The Search For King Arthur's Sword!"[/glow]
Jones shakes his head as he pays attention to what is going on. Fade is speaking to the Director.
Fade ~ So how was that Mick? How was that scene?
Mick ~ Beautiful Mike, Just beautiful! Now why don't you just take five and we'll get ready for our next shot. That's where you well head down the hall of snakes, With King Arthur's sword in your hand, Trying to find the evil gerbil king "Patrick" before you run into a pack of killer cyborg polar bears!
Fade ~ Sweet!... That's my favorite scene in the whole movie!
The director then quickly heads off the set to try to find his set designer. Fade heads over towards his actors chair where world renown adult film star actress Daisy Marie is dressed in a skimpy white mini skirt, As well as a white tube top, And is sitting in the chair next to Fade's. Daisy is busy reading the latest edition of "In Style" magazine. Fade then kisses Daisy on the lips before Jones walks over.
Mike Jones ~ Fade! Fade! Can I get a few words from you!
Fade turns and looks at Jones. Fade then rolls his eyes and huffs.
Fade ~ What the hell?!! How did a peon like you get onto the lot?! How did you sneak by security?!!
Mike Jones ~ Security? What security?! The sign said outside free parking. In fact I think this is one of the few Hollywood lots that allow free tours for the visitors at all times!
Daisy Marie ~ Hmmph... It appears that they'll let just anybody in these days then.
Fade ~ No kidding.
Mike Jones ~ Jeez... I'll be out of your hair in a second Fade, Calm down. I'm just here to get a few words from you about your match with Halo this week on The Side Effect Card. Wait.. Pardon Me. I mean The Pay...
Fade ~ Match? What match?!! I'm scheduled for a match? Has it been a month already?!! I thought my match with Jihadette would be at the Pay Per View Valentine Massacre?
Mike Jones ~ Well actually, I made a mistake, It's been a long day. You are scheduled for...
Fade ~ Hell yea its a mistake. A superstar of my caliber should only have to perform at the major Pay Per Views, Not pittly little nothing shows like Side Effect.
Daisy Marie ~ That's right. Snooky is a huge Hollywood star. There is no way he is going to risk an injury to that face at a small show like that for no reason. If he were to get hurt then Hollywood would lose millions, And millions, Of dollars in revenue from the movies he produces and stars in!
Mike Jones ~ Yeah Right, Like I'm sure that "Mighty Mervin: The Hiccup Superhero!" was a real blockbuster hit!
Fade ~ Sure it was. Next chance I get I'll show you what the returns were like from Sweden and Portugal. It broke box office records there!
Mike Jones ~ ... Fine, Whatever. Listen, I don't care what kind of success you think your movie career has been here in the States, Or over seas. All I know is you're booked to face Halo in a match. And I'm here to get an interview for it. So please, Humor me. Lets get this interview out of the way and you can call Makaveli afterwards to sort this whole mess out as to why you arent in The Main Event...
Fade ~ Fine... Fine... Let's get this nothing interview out of then way then.
Mike Jones ~ All right. Then lets begin. As I said you are set to face The Dark Halo this week in a very special match. As you may know...
Jones then glances at Fade who is distracted by a few pretty hot models walking by. Jones then shakes his head and...
Mike Jones ~ ... or probably in your case you may not know. Anyway, You are set to face Halo in a match that if you lose, You become her flunky!
Fade ~ Yep yep! And when I win, She is going to become by wee lil black eyeliner wearing, Marilyn Manson loving, Non having her underarms shaved play toy!
Mike Jones ~ So I take it that you are feeling confident coming into this match?
Fade ~ Well hell yea! Everyone knows that Halo wants to lay down for me. My bet is, We will step into that ring, I will flash her my big smile. Ya know Mike, Women cant resist my smile. Anyway, I will give her a big smile. And she will then just lay down for me in the middle of the ring and let me have my way with her!
Mike Jones ~ Well Fade, I seriously doubt that will happen. And further more... Aren't you the least bit concerned? I mean, This is your first match in quite a long time.
Fade ~ Me? Concerned? PUH-LEEZE! Ya gotta remember Jonesy, This is also Halo's first match in quite a long time as well. So you have to look at it like this, I am in peak physical shape! And Halo, She is a goth freak! I even bet she has some sort of neck injury she isn't telling us about because of all the gobs of black eyeliner she wears. I mean, All that shit has to be wearing her head down!
Mike Jones just rolls his eyes and...
Mike Jones ~ Fade, Cant you be serious... Even for a moment?
Fade ~ No can do, Tried to be serious once before, Didn't work out for me.
Daisy Marie ~ Hey you, Don't you go trying to change Snooky! He is just perfect the way he is!
Fade ~ That's right baby! I mean hells bells Jonesy, What do you want me to say? I am stronger than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. I am faster than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. I am a better wrester than Halo. I am prettier than Halo. And I am going to shove her head so far up her own ass that she is going to have cut eye holes in her nipples just to see! And by the way, Did I mention I was prettier than Halo?
Mike Jones ~ Yes, Yes you did. Like 6 times.
Fade ~ Good to hear, Glad you agree with me.
Mike Jones ~ Ok, Lets just say for arguments sake, That she defeats you. What then? You do realize she will make you life a living hell once you become her lackey Don't you?
Fade ~ Puh-leeze, She don't want me for her lackey. She wants me for her sex slave, That is the only reason she agreed to this match.
Daisy Marie ~ Eww, That is just nasty! That woman is just such a floozy! She needs to be more refined, Like myself.
Fade ~ That's right baby, You tell 'em...
Mike Jones ~ Fade, I am sure she don't want you for her sex slave.
Fade ~ Well of course she does! She is just freaky like that!
Daisy Marie ~ That's right, She is a freak! I just don't want her hands anywhere on your body Snooky!
Fade ~ Oh don't worry about that baby. When it comes to The Fade Express, No glove... No love!
Mike Jones, Who looks like any minute now he may become physically sick, Continues...
Mike Jones ~ Ok, Lets hurry and wrap this up. So, If you go into this match, And you defeat Halo, Just what do you have in store for her afterwards?
Fade puts his finger to his chin and...
Fade ~ Hmm, That's a damn good question. First off, I will probably make her take a bath. I mean... PEE-EWW! From there, Probably a good shave. I don't know to be honest, I haven't gave it much thought since I was SURE Makasmelly would make this match the Main Even at the Pay Per View. So, Who knows as of right now. I guess all you fairies will just have to tune in and see for yourself.
Mike Jones ~ So, That is it. Nothing else to add. Nothing, That makes even that least bit of sense?
Fade ~ Mike... Listen closely... K? I am going to kick her teeth, Down her throat. Her, Accepting this match. Will prove to be the most costly mistake in her wrestling career. When I am finished her, She will be crying to herself, "Why oh why didn't I accept Jihad's proposal". And to be honest, I actually feel bad for the ass beating I am about to give her. I actually like oh Jihadette in a weird sort of funked up way. However, She is the one that wanted to rumble with The VNB, And a rumble with The VNB is exactly what she is going to get. As for what I am going to do with her after I beat her, Not IF I beat her, But after I beat her. It wont be nearly as bad as all you fairies think. However, It will totally serve my purpose. Now... How is that?
Mike Jones ~ Excellent! Just excellent! That was exactly what I was looking for!
Fade ~ Blow it out your ass you fairy.
Daisy Marie ~ Yea, Like Snooky said, Blow it out your ass you fairy!
Fade ~ Oh yea, Something else for you. Halo may be the pride of all these goth freaks. But I am the "Pride Of Hollywood"! And after I beat her ass, I may just make a movie about it!
Mike Jones ~ Oh brother... Folks, We are out of time here. Let's send it back to The XVI Studios...
Fade ~ Miss me love me! And be sure to check out my new movie!
With that The XVItron slowly fades to black.
End Scene.
