Versage:

[Makaveli The Don]

You're rps could have potential to be better, man.

First of all, keep your RP titles and your story original, don't start off where you left off. It gets boring, even after Part 3.

Second, your role plays are too plain. Give them a bit of color. Separate description from speaking by using red and white, i dunno.. do something to brighten your role play.

Third, I know there is no RP limit, but raping that 'No RP Limit Rule' may not give you a win all of the time. Your goal is to make your role plays as good quality as you can make them, not posting a Star Wars Epic for your week's match.

Okay, those are my tips for you . Just trying to help.

[Jordan "Bullet Proof" Glass]

I agree. I mean, I enjoy your RP's but after so long a single place gets boring. && brighten up too, and separate speaking from actions. Basically, everything Mak said.

[jake]

You've got great writing potential, you cut your RP's off miles to short and then you pick up in a totally different scene afterwards which is cool, but your audience misses the concept of your initial RP even though there is a storyline continuing with flow.

You five RP's would struggle against one decent RP because you lose the fluency of your story, by cutting it up into different sections and not really finishing the first one off properly to allow it to flow better on to the next. It's a rookie mistake where they see quantity over quality.

All the same as I said you've got great potential, but you need to work on a full storyline if you're going to write like that, not a bunch of half assed RP's that conjure up into a half assed storyline.

Sorry to sound so harsh in my critiquing but this is the reality of your situation.




[/font]

[versageflames]

Naw no hard feelings from anyone if you really want you can delete just about all of those and I can just clump them all completely up into one or just redo the whole thing. As for the color it's honestly a force of habit. I don't use color because it's just not a huge factor to me. I do novelist style writing. BUT I will try since you guys want. hehe... I know my RP's suck... I know they're lame after a while.. sorry bout that mates. The last week has just been overly stressful and I got my drivers test on friday so x.x I haven't really been focusing on RP. But thanks for the tips.

[versageflames]

ohh and incase anyone's like... wondering xD my characters name is pronounced Ver-Sa-Gay... ya ya laugh.. I know but it's not Satche... or Ver-se-gey it's Ver Sa Gay.

[Jordan "Bullet Proof" Glass]

Oh .. I thought it was pronouced " Vers - age " .. personally, I think that sounds better than " Ver - se - gay " .. no pun at the gay part either

[Makaveli The Don]

I thought it was Ver-Sah-Gee

[Gein]

*Agrees with admin dude with lower karma than Bush*

[versageflames]

ohh I know don't worry.. it's just strange there's so many different way's to pronounce the name Versage Flames actually was ORIGINALLY a yahoo character of mine that was a werewolf... who was the guardian of fire... err.. blue_flame_wolf854 is the ID if you wanna check it out. So i just had the name (not the personage) used as this character name.