Post by b3rt77 on Mar 3, 2007 6:15:45 GMT -5
Scene opens in Ritalin’s apartment. It’s an average size apartment. We see the living room which is normal size for a living room in an apartment. In the background you can hear the top back remix by T.I and you see Ritalin sitting in a chair and looking into a computer monitor. He just woke up so he’s still wearing his yellow smiley face black boxers. And right now he’s just looking at videos of people fighting. Mainly Kimbo Slice fights. And about half way through one of the fights we hear the same ring tune as always from his cell phone. Every Time We Touch by Cascada, so he answers his cell.
Ritalin:
Hello?
Voice:
Hey dip shit.
Ritalin:
Mom?
Voice:
No moron.
Ritalin:
God?
Voice:
Close enough. It’s Rob.
Ritalin:
Oh ok what’s up?
Prozac:
Well I’m bored I just wanted to know if you wanted to go cow tipping?
Ritalin’s eyes light up with excitement.
Ritalin:
Hell yeah I want to go cow tipping. Is that a serious question?
Prozac:
No I was just kidding with you but come to the Library now.
Ritalin:
Right now?
Prozac:
I know you’re probably sitting there in your smiley face underwear watching people kick the crap out each other right?
There’s a pause as Ritalin looks at the computer screen. Then he shuts off the current fight that he was watching.
Ritalin:
Um……No.
Prozac:
Ok well then hurry up and get to the Library.
Ritalin:
I have a autograph thingy I have to go to a little later.
Prozac:
Yea I know I did that yesterday. But you have enough time to come here before then anyway.
Ritalin:
Sure why not.
Ritalin Hangs up the phone and turns his computer off and takes a quick shower for about 10 minutes. After he gets out of the shower he goes to his closet and picks what he is going to wear which is a White T-shirt, blue jeans and all white Nikes. So he goes to his car and drives to the library
20 minutes later he pulls is to the library parking lot where he sees Prozac waiting outside for him. He gets out of the car and walks over to him.
Prozac:
Took you long enough.
Ritalin:
Yeah I didn’t know where this place was so I needed to stop and get directions. So why are we here?
Prozac:
Well you’re here to um…Give back to the community so to speak.
Ritalin has a nervous look
Ritalin:
No!
Prozac:
Yes there’s a group of little kids that need someone to read to them and I signed you up.
Ritalin:
NO! I hate reading…and I hate kids. You read to them!
Prozac:
I don’t want to read to them that’s why I got you to do it.
Ritalin gives Prozac a dirty look.
Prozac:
I’ll give you a dollar to read to them.
Ritalin:
Deal. What do I have to read to them?
Prozac:
Anything.
Ritalin:
Ok.
Ritalin goes to his car first and pulls a magazine out of his car.
Prozac:
That’s a porno mag.
Prozac points to the magazine.
Ritalin:
It’s all I have in the car.
Prozac:
You can use a book from the library.
Ritalin:
I don’t know any of those books though. I can just make up words to the pics in this one easily.
Ritalin walks into the library with the magazine in hand
Scene fades with Prozac walking to his car and he quickly turns and sees Ritalin running out of the library screaming and being chased by the kids parents.
Scene opens again a little while later at the local toy store. Ritalin is sitting sitting in a metal chair with a wooden table in front of him covered with photos of himself and on the other side of the table is a line if people who want autographs.
A kid about 13 with long dark hair steps up.
Kid #1:
Hi I’m Billy.
Ritalin:
What’s up? How are you today?
Ritalin Picks up a pen and a picture ant signs to Billy from Ritalin on it.
Billy:
I’m good. I am so glad you and Prozac are in XVI
Ritalin:
(laughing) Thank you we are very glad to be there too.
Billy:
I’m going to be at the next Side Effect. I hope you guys win.
Ritalin:
Dont' worry we wont.
They both laugh as Ritalin hands Billy the picture.
Billy:
Thank you.
The kid walks away and the next on line is a adult male who walks up and looks at Ritalin for a minute before talking
Man:
Are you the one that read a bunch of kids a porno earlier today?
Ritalin gets a nervous look on his face.
Ritalin:
No that was my partner Prozac.
Man:
Yeah well next time you talk to him tell him that he’s a terrible influence on children!
Ritalin:
Oh I will sir and believe me when I say I was very disappointed in him for doing that!
Man:
Well I’m glad he should be more like you.
The man walks away. Ritalin giggles.
Ritalin:
Next in line.
A little blonde boy around 13 years old walks up.
Ritalin:
What’s your name little man?
Kid #2:
My names Chad.
Ritalin:
Well Chad are you going to be watching Side Effect this week.
Chad:
Actually I was hoping that Prozac would be here that’s why I came I don’t want your autograph ok bye.
The boy walks away.
Ritalin:
mumbles Little shit. then screams NEXT!
Ritalin looks down and grabs a picture as a little brown haired boy with big eyes around 11 years old walks up.
Ritalin:
What’s your name kid?
Kid #3:
You don’t remember me?
Ritalin picks his head up and realizes that he does know the kid and by the look of horror on his face its not a good thing.
Ritalin:
TARDZAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Ritalin knew Elijah who both him and Prozac called Tardzan from when Elijah lived at the apartment complex that Ritalin and Prozac lived in. When he lived there he used to bother Ritalin and Prozac to the point of them wanting to kill themselves. But then again Prozac and Ritalin used to torment this kid right back. By doing things like throwing rocks at him and telling him that condoms were gum. (No this is not mean if you knew the kid. You would do the same thing.)
Elijah:
I’m here on vacation with my mommy and I heard you were signing autographs here so I wanted to stop by and get a autograph.
Ritalin:
Ok.
Ritalin grabs a photo and signs to Elijah from Ritalin and hands it to him.
Ritalin:
Oh by the way would you like a piece of gum?
Elijah:
Yeah!
Scene fades with Ritalin digging into his pocket and pulling out a banana flavored condom and giving it to Elijah.
Ritalin:
Hello?
Voice:
Hey dip shit.
Ritalin:
Mom?
Voice:
No moron.
Ritalin:
God?
Voice:
Close enough. It’s Rob.
Ritalin:
Oh ok what’s up?
Prozac:
Well I’m bored I just wanted to know if you wanted to go cow tipping?
Ritalin’s eyes light up with excitement.
Ritalin:
Hell yeah I want to go cow tipping. Is that a serious question?
Prozac:
No I was just kidding with you but come to the Library now.
Ritalin:
Right now?
Prozac:
I know you’re probably sitting there in your smiley face underwear watching people kick the crap out each other right?
There’s a pause as Ritalin looks at the computer screen. Then he shuts off the current fight that he was watching.
Ritalin:
Um……No.
Prozac:
Ok well then hurry up and get to the Library.
Ritalin:
I have a autograph thingy I have to go to a little later.
Prozac:
Yea I know I did that yesterday. But you have enough time to come here before then anyway.
Ritalin:
Sure why not.
Ritalin Hangs up the phone and turns his computer off and takes a quick shower for about 10 minutes. After he gets out of the shower he goes to his closet and picks what he is going to wear which is a White T-shirt, blue jeans and all white Nikes. So he goes to his car and drives to the library
20 minutes later he pulls is to the library parking lot where he sees Prozac waiting outside for him. He gets out of the car and walks over to him.
Prozac:
Took you long enough.
Ritalin:
Yeah I didn’t know where this place was so I needed to stop and get directions. So why are we here?
Prozac:
Well you’re here to um…Give back to the community so to speak.
Ritalin has a nervous look
Ritalin:
No!
Prozac:
Yes there’s a group of little kids that need someone to read to them and I signed you up.
Ritalin:
NO! I hate reading…and I hate kids. You read to them!
Prozac:
I don’t want to read to them that’s why I got you to do it.
Ritalin gives Prozac a dirty look.
Prozac:
I’ll give you a dollar to read to them.
Ritalin:
Deal. What do I have to read to them?
Prozac:
Anything.
Ritalin:
Ok.
Ritalin goes to his car first and pulls a magazine out of his car.
Prozac:
That’s a porno mag.
Prozac points to the magazine.
Ritalin:
It’s all I have in the car.
Prozac:
You can use a book from the library.
Ritalin:
I don’t know any of those books though. I can just make up words to the pics in this one easily.
Ritalin walks into the library with the magazine in hand
Scene fades with Prozac walking to his car and he quickly turns and sees Ritalin running out of the library screaming and being chased by the kids parents.
Scene opens again a little while later at the local toy store. Ritalin is sitting sitting in a metal chair with a wooden table in front of him covered with photos of himself and on the other side of the table is a line if people who want autographs.
A kid about 13 with long dark hair steps up.
Kid #1:
Hi I’m Billy.
Ritalin:
What’s up? How are you today?
Ritalin Picks up a pen and a picture ant signs to Billy from Ritalin on it.
Billy:
I’m good. I am so glad you and Prozac are in XVI
Ritalin:
(laughing) Thank you we are very glad to be there too.
Billy:
I’m going to be at the next Side Effect. I hope you guys win.
Ritalin:
Dont' worry we wont.
They both laugh as Ritalin hands Billy the picture.
Billy:
Thank you.
The kid walks away and the next on line is a adult male who walks up and looks at Ritalin for a minute before talking
Man:
Are you the one that read a bunch of kids a porno earlier today?
Ritalin gets a nervous look on his face.
Ritalin:
No that was my partner Prozac.
Man:
Yeah well next time you talk to him tell him that he’s a terrible influence on children!
Ritalin:
Oh I will sir and believe me when I say I was very disappointed in him for doing that!
Man:
Well I’m glad he should be more like you.
The man walks away. Ritalin giggles.
Ritalin:
Next in line.
A little blonde boy around 13 years old walks up.
Ritalin:
What’s your name little man?
Kid #2:
My names Chad.
Ritalin:
Well Chad are you going to be watching Side Effect this week.
Chad:
Actually I was hoping that Prozac would be here that’s why I came I don’t want your autograph ok bye.
The boy walks away.
Ritalin:
mumbles Little shit. then screams NEXT!
Ritalin looks down and grabs a picture as a little brown haired boy with big eyes around 11 years old walks up.
Ritalin:
What’s your name kid?
Kid #3:
You don’t remember me?
Ritalin picks his head up and realizes that he does know the kid and by the look of horror on his face its not a good thing.
Ritalin:
TARDZAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Ritalin knew Elijah who both him and Prozac called Tardzan from when Elijah lived at the apartment complex that Ritalin and Prozac lived in. When he lived there he used to bother Ritalin and Prozac to the point of them wanting to kill themselves. But then again Prozac and Ritalin used to torment this kid right back. By doing things like throwing rocks at him and telling him that condoms were gum. (No this is not mean if you knew the kid. You would do the same thing.)
Elijah:
I’m here on vacation with my mommy and I heard you were signing autographs here so I wanted to stop by and get a autograph.
Ritalin:
Ok.
Ritalin grabs a photo and signs to Elijah from Ritalin and hands it to him.
Ritalin:
Oh by the way would you like a piece of gum?
Elijah:
Yeah!
Scene fades with Ritalin digging into his pocket and pulling out a banana flavored condom and giving it to Elijah.